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Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: No changes occur.Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?A: The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.Q: What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?A: Jewelry.Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?A: Their personalities.Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.A1: How many can you afford?A2: None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.A3: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A4: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb, then bill you for the privilege.A5: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents and case law, one to dictate a. It took forty-five minutes buteventually Lauren came out of her office accompanied by three very welldressed businessmen. They were all wearing fancy suits and silk ties.They walked over to the reception desk where they were standing togetherin a tight group talking; I stood up and walked over to greet her. Shesaw me out of the corner of her eye, I saw the stunned look on her faceand as I neared I leant in for a kiss, she turned her face and I ended upkissing her cheek. "What are you doing here she murmured." There was alook of total embarrassment on her face."Well I was hoping to take you to lunch I muttered."She smiled. "Sorry Michael, but I have a luncheon date already, I amsorry perhaps another day."She turned straight back to her business buddies and that was it I wasdismissed. No good bye no kiss nothing, it was like I had justembarrassed her if front of the school assembly.As I waited for the elevator another guy walked up and as we waited heintroduced himself, and we got to.
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